You Don't Want To Know
by ejzah
Summary: "Well, that wouldn't be the worst place it's been." Kensi finds out what happened to her ring despite Deeks' best efforts. Takes place in season 9, but is based on events from episode 8x01, High Value Target.


A/N: I watched episode 8x01, High Value Target, recently and the whole bit about Deeks swallowing the ring and then the subsequent retrieval got me thinking. This is set in season 9, obviously not at the beginning of the season but before things got too tense again.

* * *

You Don't Want to Know

"Well, since Deeks never showed us, which is pretty rude if you ask me, I think it's only fair that we get to see your ring now," Callen said, nodding his hand towards Kensi's hand which was resting on Deeks' arm. Kensi shrugged and slipped her engagement ring off, passing it across the table over a plate of chicken tacos. The team had gone out for a celebratory dinner and now that the table was littered with mostly empty bowls, plates, several beer bottles, and a variety of cocktail glasses, the attention had turned to Kensi's ring. It was the first time she'd worn it out with the team.

Deeks wrapped his arm around Kensi's waist, sighing as she leaned into him. He felt remarkably content and at ease. It was a kind of rare feeling these days and he was happy to bask in it for as long as possible.

"That's beautiful, Deeks. Your taste in rings fortunately is much better than your taste in fashion," Callen said. Deeks resisted the urge to stick his tongue out, instead opting for a look of superiority.

"Right, like you would even know where to go and get a ring. You'd probably go the cheesy route and give her one of those plastic things you get out of a coin machine for 25 cents," Sam said scathingly as he took a gulp of beer. He held one large palm out in front of Callen, gesturing for the ring.

"And I'm sure she would love it."

One by one they passed it around, ending with Nell who turned it from side to side as she admired it. "Do you mind?" she asked hesitantly, miming slipping it on her finger. With an indulgent smile, Kensi nodded and the younger woman placed it on her forth finger almost reverently. It was a little loose, but Nell still started down at with a small look of awe on her face.

Next to her, Eric was watching it all play out with a mixture of extreme discomfort and something like desire on his face. He noticed Deeks' attention and immediately attempted to rearranged his expression into what Deeks could only assume was supposed to be polite interest. Grinning widely, Deeks winked and then turned his attention back to Nell.

"It's not that I don't trust you…" Kensi was saying as she accepted the ring from Nell, quickly slipping it back on her own finger. "I just really don't want to go digging through dumpsters tonight if it gets lost somehow." Nell nodded, looking amused by Kensi's protectiveness.

"Well, that wouldn't be the worst place it's been," Callen muttered as he took a swallow of beer. Deeks thought Kensi might not have noticed or ignored it if Callen and Sam hadn't started snickering.

"What was that?" Kensi asked and Nell and Eric looked on with interest too. Deeks lifted his hand, making a series of slashing movements, silently pleading with his teammates to shut up. Instead they just smirked, once again reminding him of terrible, evil older brothers.

"Nothing," Deeks said quickly which only made Callen chuckle hard enough to splutter on his mouthful of beer.

"Oh, I wouldn't say nothing, Deeks," Sam said, his grin huge enough to show his dimples as he enjoyed Deeks' discomfort. Meanwhile Kensi was looking between them, her eyes narrowing as she went from concerned to suspicious in a matter of seconds..

Pushing back his chair so it made a grating squeak on the floor, Deeks shoved himself away from the table and hastily glanced at his watch.

"Oh, would you look at the time. We should be going. Right Kensi? I bet you're exhausted after all that running and shooting and saving the world," he babbled. Kensi hadn't moved an inch. Crap.

"Deeks, what happened to my ring?" Kensi asked, in a purposely calm and rational voice. She wiggled her fingers for emphasis. He sat back down reluctantly.

"Kens, I swear it's nothing that you need to worry about."

"If you don't tell her I will," Callen threatened and Deeks knew however he chose to break the news it would be ten times worse that the actual story.

"She deserves to know the truth," Sam added somberly, ruining the affect slightly with another wide grin.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate you guys?" Deeks glanced at Kensi again who had one finely shaped eyebrow arched high as she waited for an answer. Across the table, Eric and Nell were both watching eagerly. Deeks sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Ok, it's actually kind of an amusing story. Some would even say, hilarious. Um, the day I bought your ring a suspect got the drop on me and he punched me and I kind of swallowed it," Deeks said quickly, huffing out a nervous chuckle when he finished. Sam and Callen laughed just as hard as the first time they heard the story and Nell made a sound that reminded him of a squished cat. One glance at her showed that she was desperately trying not to laugh.

"Wait, you what?" Kensi asked, her face screwed up. "You swallowed the ring? Why did you have it in your mouth?"

"He was making me take my clothes off and he saw the ring. Where else was I supposed to put it?" Deeks explained reasonably, trying to ignore the ever increasing snickers around him. Kensi looked vaguely disturbed which quickly morphed into horrified recognition.

"Oh my god! I remember that day. You spent like an hour in the bathroom. I thought you had food poisoning," Kensi said. She pressed her lips together, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth. "Oh. My. God."

"I swear, I cleaned it at least 10 times since then," he said desperately.

"That's reassuring," Nell murmured. Deeks glared at her and she lifted her as she shrugged. It seemed no one had his back tonight. Fine, he would suffer alone then.

"Oh my god," Kensi repeated beside him for what felt like the hundredth time. "Why on earth would you tell them about this?" She gestured across the table to Sam who was trying to look stoic and Callen, who was actually giggling now. A part of Deeks wanted to pull out his phone and capture it for posterity, but he decided to be the bigger man and instead flipped them both off before turning his attention back to Kensi.

"It's not like I wanted to. They kept threatening to tell people I had some kind of bowel disease. I don't really know how Eric and Nell found out because I certainly didn't tell them."

"Yeah, he broke right about the time we mentioned Hetty and colonoscopy in the same sentence," Sam said reminiscently.

"We overheard the tail end of your little ring escapade and when we asked about it later, Sam and Callen were only too happy to oblige," Nell chimed in, finally breaking down and giving in to her laughter. Deeks had a feeling she wouldn't have found it quite so funny if she wasn't half way through her third strawberry margarita. Beside her, Eric shrugged apologetically.

"It was pretty funny. Sam's a surprisingly good storyteller."

"Ok, I've just decided you're all uninvited to our wedding," Deeks announced. Eric actually looked worried while Nell narrowed her eyes at him, not quite managing to focus on his face.

"Uh babe, we haven't sent out any invites yet," Kensi reminded him quietly.

"Well, when we do they're not getting any."

"Uh-huh, come on before we have no on left to invite." Kensi grabbed his arm and started tugging him out of his chair. They were slipping on their jackets when Callen said indignantly,

"Hey, you didn't pay your half of the bill!"

"That's for being jerks and not keeping this to yourselves," Kensi replied cheerfully. Then she linked her fingers through Deeks' and led them through the crowded restaurant.

* * *

Later that that night, they were sitting on the couch, watching _Downton Abbey_ , a show Deeks had never in a million years imagined Kensi Blye, lover of all things reality and cheesy would choose to watch. She seemed to have accepted the less than glamorous history of her engagement ring, after the initial shock had worn off, but he still felt a little guilty.

"Hey, are you sure you're ok with the ring, knowing where it's been and everything?" he asked. Kensi turned to him with a frown.

"You did wash it, right?" she checked.

"Yeah, in this special solution I got from a jewelry store plus a bunch of other things that I read were safe to use."

"Then yes, I'm absolutely fine with it. Why?" Deeks shifted uncomfortably, impulsively lifting Kensi's hand to his lips.

"I just thought that if you weren't I could buy you a new ring. One that hasn't been in close contact with any of my internal organs," he explained.

"Ok, baby. First of all, I don't even want to imagine how much you spent on this ring, so I'm not going to ask you to shell out several thousand dollars for another one. Not even if Monty swallowed it. I am not that much of a diva." Reaching out Kensi, cupped his cheek and said sincerely. "I love this ring. Not just because it's gorgeous, which it totally is, but because you chose it for me and I wouldn't throw that away for anything."

"Wow," Deeks whispered. He felt a slight chill run up his spine. "Have I mentioned recently how much I love you?"

"Yes, but I don't mind hearing it again," Kensi said with a smile. Then she leaned forward and kissed him, her lips easing his open and distracting them both for several minutes. She pulled back eventually and ran her fingers through his hair, still smiling.

"Of course when I write my memoir, there will be no mention of this incident. As far as history is concerned, you wore this ring around your neck until you slid it on my finger."

"Noted," Deeks said with a grin as he settled again the back of the couch, taking Kensi with him. She settled into his chest with a happy little sigh and Deeks closed his eyes, that content feeling filling him again.

"Oh, and if it wasn't obvious, I love you too," Kensi sleepily murmured a few minutes later.

* * *

A/N: It's really hard to write light, fluffy stuff for season nine, at least for me. That being said, I hope this doesn't seem too out of place.


End file.
